Registered: Sep 2002
Location: Round the twist.
Posts: 78

Back seat gamers

To all gamers - recognise any of these????


The Tomb Raider rules of adventure game playing!

Move through every area slowly ? Apart from those times when you should RUN LIKE HELL.

If you hear creepy music PANIC & RUN LIKE HELL!

Don?t stand in any one place for too long for fear of being creamed by large falling objects.

NEVER turn your back on a bad guy ? they might bite you in the bum!

Never turn your back on a DEAD bad guy ? they still might bite you! Zoombiesssssssssssssssssssss admit it they are real.

Check everything, no mater how illogical, unlikely, or disgustingly gross. You never know what you may find. In fact, the more illogical, unlikely, or disgustingly gross it is, the more likely it is to be the right place.

If you have checked it once, or been there before, do it again at least TWICE again as things seem to change (like you don?t already have enough to do!) Hey sometimes go back whilst standing on your head ? it might make all the difference!

Back-seat gamers can be a MAJOR distraction. Especially if they try to be helpful, and tell you to ?go this way ? no the other way.?

Look at all the puzzles after generous amounts of ALCOHOL ? you?ll find they?re easier to solve, or by then you won?t give a rats @ss anyway.

If you get stuck, sleep on it. Long periods of game play means you?ll dream about it and the answer usually comes when you least expect it. Or are least likely to remember it.

A strategy book is not a CHEAT . Most of the games designers are on mind-altering substances at the time, (or crazy) so you won?t have a snowballs chance in hell if you don?t gain a strategic advantage somehow!!!!!

You?re supposed to buy the hint books! This is not only as you are unlikely to find all the hidden extras without one, it also provides money to the designers from copyright revenues etc?..

Enjoy ? it is supposed to be a game after all. Just keep telling yourself that, especially when trying to kill whichever idiot it was that?s just walked in front of the TV!!!!!


FINALLY ? Lara Croft should not be referred to as you dozy slut, (even after falling off the impossibly tiny, incredibly difficult to reach, platform it took 3 hours to get to - and you then realise you haven't saved the game.)

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location: GROJ1655-40
Posts: 3452

There there i know how you feel with back seat gamers my father is one of them even though he has never even played most of the games that i have.......For that platform that took 3 hours to get onto i have made that mistake but now i save my game at just about every door jump or baddie. There is nothing wrong with cheats as most of the tiem the makers expect you to use them.

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location: Phoenix, Arizona, USA
Posts: 1416

Bugger that!

Just go play Rainbow Six in god mode with the victory objectives off, the big head mode on, and the squishy sound when they walk...

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- Deathbunny

"Truth requires no belief and Belief requires no truth."

"Our actions support our beliefs, but without our beliefs, we have no justification for our actions." - J. Wheeler

"Everything has its own place and function. That applies to people, although many don't seem to realize it, stuck as they are in the wrong job, the wrong marriage, or the wrong house. When you know and respect your Inner Nature, you know where you belong. You also know where you don't belong." -From "The Tao of Pooh"

You too can be *NUKED*! Ask me How!

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location: Out keeping the fish in the liffy well fed
Posts: 3588

Rofl, adventure games are way to tense Ever find yourself moving your hend to try and see round a corner on the screen?

quote:

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If you get stuck, sleep on it. Long periods of game play means you?ll dream about it and the answer usually comes when you least expect it. Or are least likely to remember it.

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Virginia was a lot lizard from F.L.A.
She had a compound fracture in the trunk
It started when she ran away, thumbs out on the interstate
She hitched a ride to misery

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