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Old 04-19-2010, 01:36 AM   #5471
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So when you guys say you are still here, you mean that very loosely, judging by the lack of new posts?
Oh, no, I said that right before I went away for the weekend.
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Save me!

It's all right. Cops saved me. Yay!
I see. Tell us more.
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Old 04-19-2010, 06:29 AM   #5472
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Oh I'd forgotten.

I was having drinks with my pity-friend. He's exceedingly tiresome. Someone's got to pretend to be his friend, so it's my karma-building exercise.

He'd evidently been drinking for some time before I joined him at 9pm. Around about 12, 12:30, he got up to take a piss at the Wig, but instead of going inside he thought the garden out the front was the appropriate place. I tried to tell him otherwise, but was ignored.

He's trying to urinate -- face on to the assembled public, but he doesn't mind so much -- but clearly can't keep his feet, particularly in the uneven landscape of the garden. So he stumbles around for a bit, including stumbling out of the garden and onto the road, then back again. I don't know if he finished his piss or not. He may not even have started.

At any rate, he ends up lying down in the garden. There was spew, but I'm not sure at what point it happened. Fortunately a couple of mates from elsewhere had joined me just before the episode began, so I had people to talk to. I called over from time to time to see if he was alive, and got the thumbs up, so let him be. Nothing worse than being interfered with when all you're trying to do is pass out in your own spew in a public place.

At length the licensee comes out to clear glasses and observes my pity-friend in the garden. He gets on his phone and starts talking - to whom I knew not. I certainly did not think this the appropriate time to identify myself as an acquaintance.

The polic came. Pick him up, ask stupid questions, shine lights in his face - you know, the usual. Then the ambo comes, looks him over, says he's pretty much fine but clearly needs to go home. By this point I'm happily chatting with a bunch of onlookers, including one lovely lass who grew up in the same suburb I did. I should've got her number; I don't know what I was thinking.

Everyone had pretty much dispersed, and the pub (which had called last drinks around 12) was clearing away the tables and chairs. Thus deprived of a place to sit, I wandered down and asked the po-po if there was anything I could do.

"Do you work here?"

"Nah. I'm his mate."

"You're his mate?"

"Well... I'm a friend of his."

"Come this way."

So I had to take him to the cab rank, haul him into a taxi, take him $20 worth of cab fare to his place and see him into his flat. Then I caught the $20 cab back, found myself a stiff drink, and proceeded with the evening.


I needed saving from the ongoing agony of contact with my pity-friend. The episode with the po-po solved my problems. Hurrah!
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Old 04-19-2010, 07:44 AM   #5473
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The polic came. Pick him up, ask stupid questions, shine lights in his face - you know, the usual. Then the ambo comes, looks him over, says he's pretty much fine but clearly needs to go home. By this point I'm happily chatting with a bunch of onlookers, including one lovely lass who grew up in the same suburb I did. I should've got her number; I don't know what I was thinking.
Let this be a lesson to you, Hally-Burton, it's bros before hoes right up until the moment they cockblock you.
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I needed saving from the ongoing agony of contact with my pity-friend. The episode with the po-po solved my problems. Hurrah!
If I were available I'd have been your "urgent call" elsewhere, my status as a patsy by proxy in various episodes of drunken chicanery is legendary.
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Old 04-19-2010, 09:10 AM   #5474
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Interesting. I'm going to be needing your number.
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Old 04-19-2010, 07:10 PM   #5475
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Bros before hoes till they pass out and spew and lie in it in a public place then it's hoes.
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Old 04-19-2010, 09:07 PM   #5476
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Cool story bro! Thankfully you managed to still have a night out. In the past I've had nights ruined cos noone wants to leave the drunk on their own in case they choke on vomit.
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Old 04-19-2010, 11:40 PM   #5477
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One of the guys who fortunately passed my way was smoking the spew guy's cigarettes, and kept saying he was a bad person. He implied that I, too, was a bad person, for sitting at the pub finishing my beer rather than rendering assistance to spew guy. I just don't know what could be expected of me or anyone else in that circumstance. If I had a hose on me, then fine, yeah, I can see me being expected to hose him down. But once the polis come around, surely it's in the hands of the professionals. He was on his feet after that. My work was done. By others.
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Old 04-20-2010, 01:19 AM   #5478
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Bros before hoes till they pass out and spew and lie in it in a public place then it's hoes.
Word.
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One of the guys who fortunately passed my way was smoking the spew guy's cigarettes, and kept saying he was a bad person.
No way. If you guys hadn't been standing watch it would have been spew guy's wallet instead of just his cigarettes.
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My work was done. By others.
Work smart not hard?
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Old 04-20-2010, 02:02 AM   #5479
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lol, somthing similar happened recently to me. well spew related anyway.
took one of my mates out who doesnt drink too much and went to the pub, he dissapeared a few hours in and i got an extreemly abusive call for his girlfriend about 30 minutes later, apparently he had gone home and spewed on everything.
the bed, with her in it on all the lounges, in the washing mechine, in the crisper of the fridge.
suffice to say i dont think he will be allowed out for a while now
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Old 04-20-2010, 04:08 AM   #5480
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took one of my mates out who doesnt drink too much and went to the pub, he dissapeared a few hours in and i got an extreemly abusive call for his girlfriend about 30 minutes later, apparently he had gone home and spewed on everything.
It's hardly your fault if your mate can't hold his piss.
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