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VAE VICTIS
Registered: Oct 2001
Location: Tara, land of dreams
Posts: 317 |
puddy ta! like it makes any sense anyway......
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
There was a flash of light.
Flash.
Thank you. VERY enthusiastic, aren?t we? I mean, it wasn?t as if I asked for a flash of EPIC proportions, but that was PATHETIC! I mean, come on, I know there?s a budget but even lightenin-
OW! Fine, be like that. Next time I?ll ask for thunder.
And Jack found himself alll alone in a white room.
?I?m all alone in a-?
Yes well you all know my pet hate of stating the obvious, so at this point a large rock falls on Jack.
?Ow! A rock just-?
CRASH
Now Jack can?t talk a while. Oops. He never WAS the cleverest cookie?.
?ow ow ow ow ow-?
Or the most fluent. Except for curse words. But we?ve grown out of that, haven?t we, Jack.
?mm hmm!?
Aww. Dun?t he sound SWEEEET?? Ahem. Now, Jack found himself in a room ALL of his own.
?Cool.?
ALL ON HIS OWN.
?Sweet.?
WITHOUT HIS TEAM- DUMBASS.
?Oh. Oh team? Te-am? Where are you??
That?s better. Well, to silence my doubters, I have not forgotten my plot and PLOT I DO HAVE, but this is what is called a ?de-velop-ment.? OK?
And while we leave Jack to wander aimlessly and consider his actions, and probably stub his toe and shoot at stuff, and swear when he thinks I?m not listening.
And we?ll ignore that unprintable comment, also.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Right now, SG-1 hadn?t noticed that everybody?s favourite intrepid Colonel was missing.
They had turned and ran. Daniel, after bouncing, being ?swallowed,? nearly suffocating- wait for it- and losing his glasses, he got spat out, knocked unconscious and was now left by the fire as his ?comrades? ran away from the rip in narrative that means an AU has spawned. And we all know how bad THAT can be, don?t we?
Miraculously, Lazarus- I mean, Daniel, recovered.
?HEY! Wait up!?
He hobbled after them, owing to a nasty sprained ankle. Bah. Some people.
And the chicken, heretofore UNMENTIONED after being dropped by a whisked away AGAIN Jack?. Turned to face?.a goose.
LAST EVER CHICKEN FIC
In which all issues are resolved- kinda.
In which the meaning of life the universe and everything is reveaked- to those who know where to look.
In which I stop leaving any room for later fics- HAHAHAHA.
Oh and there?s gratuitous chickens, also.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Daniel shuffled along from the white things, but they seemed to have left him alone, now. Thankfully. Looking up, he noticed a big army boot pointing out from under a bush and some sniffling emanating in hushed accompaniment.
?Uh, hello??
The boot was withdrawn rather sharpish, but Daniel got down onto his hands and knees, yet again forgetting various advice about sticking your head into places you can?t see?
?Is there a pro- oh mi god! It?s Sam!?
?Please- please don?t hurt me,? stammered the seven year old Sam.
?Oh no hunny, I wouldn?t hurt you at all! Look, see I?m your friend. Shall I take you to find Ja- I mean your Daddy??
Sam sniffled pathetically and glanced at the proffered hand. Then she sized him up. Thin, gangly- didn?t look like much of a threat and she had a good left hook?
?Sure,? she muttered.
Now, because some people are adverse to having their favourite characters ridiculed- No I?m not making a concession, I?m just telling them to LOOK AWAY NOW MGB, JSC and any other Teal?c fans, unless they are game for a laugh (hehehehehehehe.)
Daniel, busily searching through his pockets for a candy bar to give to the newly young Sam, did not notice the tall, slightly lanky figure with oddly defined muscles.
?Uh- hello?? Sam asked.
?Who are you looking at?? the youth replied.
Daniel jumped back in shock at the sullen tone to see a teenage boy, arms folded across his chest, staring right back at him. Horrible images flooded across his mind, most of them involving the phrase ?Cunning Linguist.? (Ah man and if I don?t get thrown off for THAT I don?t know what lol!)
?Te- Teal?c?? he asked incredulously.
?How do you know my name, peasant??
?Uh, I know- Uh, I know Braytak. He sent me to fetch you.?
?Huh. I can?t believe Master Braytak sent such a- such a- chicken!?
Daniel splurted out a cough, ?Well he did. You are to return home immediately. There is an emergency.?
?Chal?nak, maybe I can get to do something other than stupid training, I swear if he makes me do ballet one more time??
Daniel struggled to look firm, ?Teal?c, you must not speak ill of master Braytak. You must learn obedience through good toes naughty toes or whatever else he sees fit.?
Teal?c growled lowly, ?Yes, SIR.?
Daniel patted the restless Sam on the head, ?But first we must find a friend of mine.?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
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SKIP'S FIC! New WIP Archive, made by little old me!My Livejournal- warning, not G rated.
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