Registered: Jun 2002
Location: Bristol
Posts: 28

[URL=http://www.ayeshanow.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/neptune.html]



Neptune got more than he bargained for when he sired Triton and left SG1 with a whole load of trouble.

Feedback would be welcome.

Ayesha

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location: GROJ1655-40
Posts: 3452

I really liked that story. But apart from the fact that you went from trition bring good then to being bad without any reason. Over all a great read.

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Registered: Jun 2002
Location: Bristol
Posts: 28

Thanks for the feedback chameleon.

Triton was devious and had left off being 'good' a long time before he realised it. I had spread the clues through the whole story <g> perhaps I was being a little too suble for the storyline.

I glad you enjoyed the story.

Ayesha

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location: Phoenix, Arizona, USA
Posts: 1416

Hey! You wrote the dinosaur and "Lord Odessa" stories, right?

Those were cool...

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"Truth requires no belief and Belief requires no truth."

"Our actions support our beliefs, but without our beliefs, we have no justification for our actions." - J. Wheeler

"Everything has its own place and function. That applies to people, although many don't seem to realize it, stuck as they are in the wrong job, the wrong marriage, or the wrong house. When you know and respect your Inner Nature, you know where you belong. You also know where you don't belong." -From "The Tao of Pooh"

You too can be *NUKED*! Ask me How!

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Registered: Jun 2002
Location: Bristol
Posts: 28

So you read my first two stories? I'm glad you enjoyed them, its been a while since I have looked at them myself. They are also on the site. I've only written 10 stories over the last three years I think. It takes me a long time to get an idea down on paper

Ayesha

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location: Phoenix, Arizona, USA
Posts: 1416

*embarrassed*

I'm still hacking on my first attempt...

...I have a beginning, an end, some middle, and two or three places with a big "Here Thar be More Story!" I try to work around.

And a big, odd premise in the story.

I'll have to look up the rest of yours...

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- Deathbunny

"Truth requires no belief and Belief requires no truth."

"Our actions support our beliefs, but without our beliefs, we have no justification for our actions." - J. Wheeler

"Everything has its own place and function. That applies to people, although many don't seem to realize it, stuck as they are in the wrong job, the wrong marriage, or the wrong house. When you know and respect your Inner Nature, you know where you belong. You also know where you don't belong." -From "The Tao of Pooh"

You too can be *NUKED*! Ask me How!

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Registered: Jun 2002
Location: Bristol
Posts: 28

That sounds Ok.

The story I have just started is exactly like that, it won't flow. Some stories do, some don't. Don't give up though. If you need any help/comment I would be pleased to help if you email me off list.

Ayesha

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location: Phoenix, Arizona, USA
Posts: 1416

Thanks!

That and managing time...

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- Deathbunny

"Truth requires no belief and Belief requires no truth."

"Our actions support our beliefs, but without our beliefs, we have no justification for our actions." - J. Wheeler

"Everything has its own place and function. That applies to people, although many don't seem to realize it, stuck as they are in the wrong job, the wrong marriage, or the wrong house. When you know and respect your Inner Nature, you know where you belong. You also know where you don't belong." -From "The Tao of Pooh"

You too can be *NUKED*! Ask me How!

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location: GROJ1655-40
Posts: 3452

I'm on my billon try. But that doesn't mean I have finished one. I like reading the stories so much better then making them up. You gonna do a sequal to this story??? Or you just gonna leave it like it is??

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location: GROJ1655-40
Posts: 3452

Arrrgggeeeee. Adrift is to short. Were's the rest of it. I want more. You made me think about life in that. Not everyone can do that then you just stop it. *sniff* were is the rest????

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Registered: Jun 2002
Location: Bristol
Posts: 28

Adrift & Neptune

Chameleon, sorry if this reply is a little long in coming, I've been away in sunnier climes. Am also sorry Adrift was to short. I hadn't thought about writing more because I ran out of inspiration rather quickly, thinking to deeply about that sort of thing sends me into a weird and crazy realm!

There maybe a sequel to Neptune's Spawn sometime. I suppose I aught to resolve the mermens plight. if something occurs I will, but i do need an idea and a story line to hang it on and they aren't always that spontaneous.

Ayesha

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location: GROJ1655-40
Posts: 3452

Thank you thank you thank you. I know what you mean about ideas all mine seem to me like they come from someone else. I'll be waiting for the next update.
Cheers.

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Great fanfic, you should listen to Chameloen though, she knows what she's talking about!

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Registered: Jun 2002
Location: Bristol
Posts: 28

Thanks for the feedback Maxine, was it Neptune's Spawn you read and which bit of Chameleon's feedback are you referring to?

Ayesha

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location: GROJ1655-40
Posts: 3452

Ayesha honey you know that fic of your Are we friends or lunch are you gonna do another one of them as in the next bit of it????

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