Venus
Status: Freezing cold
Registered: Oct 2001
Location: England Elvenname: Ainari?l Telr?nya
Posts: 6157 |
Not really that funny, but I'm cleaning out my inbox...
> A WOMAN'S RANDOM THOUGHTS:
>
> If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be
> yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with.
>
> But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your
> food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realise
> that you had set it free...... You either married it or gave birth to it.
>
> Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
>
> Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics
> class pulls a hamstring.
>
> Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and
> forget where they left them.
>
> One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of chocolates can make a
> woman gain 5 lbs.
>
> My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.
>
> The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
>
> The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know
> what you're doing, someone else does.
>
> The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your
> body and your fat are really good friends.
>
> Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
>
> Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness..
>
> I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and
> setting my knickers on fire.
>
> Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2
> sizes!
>
> Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like," You
> know, sometimes I just forget to eat." "Now ... I've forgotten my address, my
> mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You
> have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
>
> A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had
> 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.
>
> They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that
> communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd
> you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a
> bell my body said "Listen witch ... do it and die."
>
> The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and
> then they marry him.
>
> I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating
> too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my
> idea of a perfect day.
>
> Send this to five bright women you know and make their day!!!
>
> Live simply....Laugh often....Love deeply
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Temptations, unlike opportunities, will always give you second chances.
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