neith
Member
Registered: Oct 2001
Location: sydney australia
Posts: 76 |
o'neill's worse nightmare - just be happy!
For those who need to be told and so probably shouldnt read this - it's a parody - it is meant to be f-u-n-n-y -
if you're not in the mood for something silly dont read this!
AND yes my "SERIOUS " script writing is in a different style .
O'Neill was waking up with a megaton blast of a headache
- last thing he remembered was twisting his knee and hitting what seemed to be a rock and to his horror being sucked into it!
He dragged his eyes open - he was in SGC's infirmary again!
Doc Frasier was there smiling at him"Hello Jack"!
Then Sam entered the room heavily pregnant - so big she looked like she was having twins!
"Er how long was I unconscious?" he asked.
Martouf and Nerim entered the room too.
O"Neill yelled!
"AW this is one of those darn parallel universy thingies!"
"Oh dear You're not our O"Neill?" asked Sarah and Liara entering the room."Wonder where our hubbie is?
"Husband?" said O'Neill?"
"Yes Polyandry's legal in this timeline!" chirped Frasier.
"General Hammond's married to the Tolan High chancellor and a Tok'ra councillor!"
O"Neill grimaced.
All the women and men in the room seemed to be on prozac and then Daniel enterd with Ammonet / Shauri in tow carrying a baby girl and of course smiling!
"Hey Jack debriefing's in a hour after afternoon tea!"
"That's not our Jack" chirped Frasier and Sam.
"Oh dear well ladies give him an orientation tour before we send him back and some tea and biscuits!"
Some time later O'Neill was feeling even sicker - Siler and Davis were Colonels in this time line - Sam had her own harem - the SGC was run by civilians- and worse Daniel was in charge - and Maybourne was the security liasion! He stood in the Gate Room - Teal'c was coming for a visit - surely Tealc would be the same reliable stoic Jaffa.
"Honor squad present arms to the President of Chulak!"
Teal'c walked thru the gate in an Armani suit followed by Apophis !
"Stop that Gouald" screamed O"Neill. Apophis looked up at him and waved with a friendly smile.
Colonel Siler restrained O"Neill with one arm.
"Er Jack you should know Apophis "got religion" went into family therapy and started a Zen monastery on Chulak!
"How?" gasped Jack
"We shipped a task force of new age californian and other gurus and therapists to the various Gouald worlds along with bombardments of chocolate and within a month they were negiotating a treaty with us for more chocolate and therapists!
O"Neill whimpered ... I cant take any more of this
Everyone's so happy. Please please send me home NOW!"
O'Neill woke up again still with a headache and saw Jonas looking at him.
"Jonas! this is the right timeline? Sam's not pregnant? Daniels' still a cosmic squid? Polyandry's not legal! No one's in therapy?"
Jonas gave him a look " Nooo?"
"Er Doctor Frasier I think the Colonel is still concussed?"
O'Neill sagged back into the pillow and sighed with relief!
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