JoJo
Sam/McKay Shipper
Registered: Oct 2001
Location: City by the Great Shellfish Bay
Posts: 394 |
Fic: For Sale
My latest. I wrote it in response to a challenge. "The SCG has a batchelor auction for charity. Daniel is Lot 13." It takes place around season 2. Teal'c's POV.
For Sale
Master Bray?tac, I take pen in hand to inform you of the latest events. The following tale is most puzzling, yet true.
In the years since I have pledged my fealty to this world I have seen the Tauri practice numerous bizarre rituals. However, this most recent event is by far the most unusual in my experience. It, as O?Neill would say, ?obtains the pastry?.
Several days ago I entered the commissary. At a table were O?Neill, MajorCarter, DanielJackson and Dr. Fraiser. Overhearing their conversation, I was shocked to hear O?Neill say ?We could always sell Danny. He?s young and cute. I?ll bet he?d fetch a good price.?
?Jaaack,? DanielJackson said, his face rapidly turning pink.
?O?Neill, what is the meaning of this?? I demanded.
?Hey, big fella. We?re trying to raise some cash, so Doc came up with the idea of a slave auction. I figure we could unload Daniel on some unsuspecting soul,? O?Neill replied.
?O?Neill, I must protest,? I said. ?DanielJackson is far too valuable to be sold as a common servant.?
?Uh, thanks, Teal?c, I guess,? DanielJackson said.
?If he is to be sold, who will perform his duties?? I inquired. ?One such as DanielJackson would not easily be replaced.?
?Ah, Teal?c, it?s all in fun,? O?Neill said. ?Daniel?s not really going to become a slave. We?re just trying to raise some money for charity?.
After a lengthy explanation I was astonished to find that the Tauri pretend to sell their companions in order to obtain sufficient funds to aid the less fortunate. Unlike the evil false gods, the Tauri are not willing to ignore the desperate plight of the wretched. Instead of dispatching the miserable, the more fortunate perform strange acts to earn funds to succor the helpless among them.
Although O?Neill assured me that DanielJackson was not actually to be sold, I resolved to keep a keen eye upon the young man. I have attended many slave auctions before, and I was not willing to allow DanielJackson to come to any harm.
I watched carefully as DanielJackson was led into the room. My vigilance was amply rewarded. Of the company present, virtually all displayed a keen interest in the young man. I was especially suspicious of the party of women sitting at a nearby table. I had
not seen such avid desire in many a year. Listening to their speech, I was disturbed to learn of their nefarious plan to combine their resources and purchase DanielJackson. My
heart quailed at the prospect of the innocent scholar forced to submit to the whims of this pack of she-devils.
DanielJackson bore the scrutiny bravely, scarcely flinching when a most vociferous matron loudly stated he was a ?babe?.
Perhaps MajorCarter should not have insisted DanielJackson wear such tight clothes. ?You want to show the goods,? she had said. Although, if this were a proper slave auction, he would not have worn any clothing, as you well know.
?And here he is, Lot Number 13, Daniel Jackson, Archaeologist, Linguist . . .,? Dr. Fraiser stated. ?What am I offered for this prime hunk of manhood??
Precisely at that moment, one of the woman stood up, preparing to bid. My eyes met hers, giving her my most ferocious glare, she sat down. Quickly, I scanned the rest of the room, daring anyone to speak.
Dr. Fraiser appeared surprised at the lack of response. Turning to DanielJackson, she asked him if he had anything to say.
?Could someone, anyone, buy me, please,? he muttered awkwardly.
?God, he?s cute, I don?t care what that man-mountain will do, I?m going for it,? the harpy nearest me said, favoring me with a defiant glare.
?We?re with you, sweetie,? another replied. ?He?s outnumbered six to one. Get the Geek!? she cried.
Fortunately, O?Neill endeavored to assist DanielJackson. ?Five hundred dollars,? he shouted.
?Six,? the woman said.
?Seven.?
Not to be outdone, the woman yelled ?Eight?.
?Don?t worry Danny,? O?Neill called out to his friend. ?Nine?.
?One thousand dollars.?
?Eleven hundred,? O?Neill responded.
?Twelve,? the woman said.
?Are you nuts?? her companion said. ?We only have twelve hundred between us.?
?Are you blind? Look at him, he?s gorgeous,? the alpha female said, staring at DanielJackson in a manner reminiscent of a sleeto eyeing a tender young cholta.
DanielJackson blushed. MajorCarter, who until now had remained silent, quickly whispered in O?Neill?s ear.
?Twelve hundred fifty, and that?s my final offer,? O?Neill said.
?Done, sold to the Colonel,? Dr. Fraiser said.
Audible gasps of disappointment emanated from the next table.
?Damn, I knew we should have brought more money,? one woman complained.
Later, after all of the ?merchandise? had been disposed of, only I, O?Neill, DanielJackson and the frustrated coven remained.
DanielJackson thanked O?Neill for coming to his aid earlier, and attempted to depart.
?Where are you going slave-boy?? O?Neill said, smiling
?Uh, home, Jack,? DanielJackson said, puzzled.
?Not so fast, I?ve got you for the entire weekend, Daniel,? O?Neill said. ?We?ll have a great time. I?ve got plenty of beer, the hockey playoffs are on ESPN, hey, we can even get in some fishing.?
?But Jaaack,? DanielJackson whined in a futile attempt to appeal to O?Neill?s finer nature.
?But nothing, I bought you fair and square. If you don?t come with me willingly, I?ll sell you to them,? O?Neill said, gesturing at his rivals. The women gazed at DanielJackson hopefully.
Blanching with horror, DanielJackson trembled slightly and said, ?All right, I?m yours.?
O?Neill then said ?If you get bored, I?ve got some yard work you can do. My hedges could use a trim, the firewood pile needs to be restacked, and I can?t remember the last time I cleaned the dead leaves out of my gutters. Come to think of it, my bathtub needs regrouting too.?
As they left for O?Neill?s house, his arm draped across DanielJackson?s shoulder, I thought DanielJackson is most fortunate to possess a friend such as O?Neill.
Yes, the ways of the Tauri are strange indeed. I shall provide further details of the Tauri and their ways should circumstances arise.
Your Humble Servant,
Teal?c
The End
Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission of the author.
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